The Secret of the Missing Fucks
A brief look at Sesame Swallow's fourth adventure
And right here, I’m just gonna say that Lindsay Rains, who we briefly meet in Book One, is the most fun character ever, and she makes me smile smile smile when I write her and when I read her. I’m still working on what she looks like, but I have some images collected. As we’ll learn, Lindsay is a tour de force. She’s an entrepreneur who runs (and used to star in) a hugely successful porn site; she’s managed multiple other businesses, is a bit of a genius and is absolutely all over the map. There’s no telling from book to book what she’s into or what she’s going to be doing. Even I don’t know.
Here’s a brief description of her, delivered by Sesame Swallow, and then, if you like, you can read the entire excerpt on Medium at the link below.
“I had to find a way to enhance my calm,” she blurted out, swinging back around with the huge scissors so abruptly that we all had to jump back out of the way. In these Lindsay moments, she was pure tour de force, and there was no way to know what was coming or to stop it. I’d seen it so many times at this point. Lindsay, wrapped in red sequins with a giant pair of scissors in hand. Lindsay pulling up in a limo wearing a pink bunny rabbit snuggie to pick me up so we could go grocery shopping; she’d been driving the limo while the driver had been sitting shotgun reading her horoscopes and the TMZ Twitter feed. Lindsay showing up at the gun range to shoot with Regan and I wearing a skin tight black mini dress, thigh high stiletto boots and a tiara like she’d just come from some kind of kinky birthday party; she had, in fact, and had forgotten that she’d said she’d go shooting with us, so she’d left and just shown up. She’d worn the tiara the whole time, handled the Remington 870 like a champion, and I’d promptly shut the fuck up.
The rest of the excerpt from the novel is here: The Missing Fucks
Everything about who Sesame Swallow is and what adventures she’s going on in this ten-book mystery series can be found here: All Sesame All The Time
And last but not least, you can keep up with Sesame at her own website NoMysteryInc.
